Hair Wars – My Hair Journey

I have been chemical free for over 7 years. Let me explain, I had to stop getting chemical relaxers for my hair after an illness and medication which completely changed my how my hair reacted to the chemicals in the relaxers.

2012-03-08 15.43.15 <—- Gotta love the shrinkage.

So I did the BC (Big Chop) and used a texturizer for a few years to transition to completely natural. I stopped using the texturizer about 7 or so years ago. And I will admit there have been days I wanted to venture back onto the chemically relaxed and straightened side of the product aisle. But I am finally at a point (and age) where I am happy with my hair and embrace my natural style. I use very little to no heat. I maybe use heat once or twice a year. I switch up my style with protective styling (braids, twists, buns, faux hawks, twist outs, etc.). I hawk/haunt/stalk certain natural hair vloggers on youtube. I even switch it up with a wig every once in a while.

My family has been less than supportive. My mother doesn’t understand it after all this time. She has stopped short of asking the big question (one several friends have gotten). My mother hates my hair.

2012-06-27 15.22.26

Every time I go to the store I get stopped and asked by other women (some transitioning, some natural) about my hair and what I use. And yesterday I got the ultimate compliment – A stranger came up and told me I love your hair.

I have tried multiple products. And am still on that search for the products that work for me and my hair texture. I have kinky/curly hair. And my hair is fine is some areas, coarse in others and thick. And by thick I mean a lot of it. And it is very dry.

I recently tried the Hair Milk Collection from Carol’s Daughter and the Mimosa Hair Honey. So far I am liking it. I used it to do a twist out and used the Hair Honey as a finisher for shine.

2012-08-12 06.54.19

It hasn’t been easy. And this (continuing) hair journey has been frustrating and difficult. I have learned a lot about myself . And I may not have a lot of curl definition like I want. I may not be able to be a wash and go chick. But I can finally say I am at a place where I can say that I love my hair.

6 thoughts on “Hair Wars – My Hair Journey

  1. Kristen Koster (Kaige) says:

    Why is it that we’re NEVER happy with what we have?

    I spent most of my teen years attacking my hair with chemicals too. Only I had to perm my hair to get any sort of curl to hold. And lemme tell ya, it took years for me to get to a place where I was comfortable with straight-as-a-board hair.

    I still usually wear it up in a pony-tail just so it’s not hanging limp down the sides of my head. I probably have more options if I was willing to take the time to fuss with it, but it works for me at this point.

    Great post, Danie!

  2. danieford says:

    Yes hair has always been a journey for me. I am finally comfortable with my hair and it’s texture. My hair during my younger years until my early 20’s was made bone straight with relaxers that burned my scalp and even caused scabs at one point cause of how harsh it was. I spent about 2 hours every other week in the salon minimum to get my hair done.

    Thanks.

  3. Tasha says:

    Kudos to you Danie! I’ve been natural for 13 years now — I live in two strand twists — and most days it’s a good time. There are still family members who don’t get it, but I’ve over waiting for their approval. Today a stranger told me how awesome my hair looked and it’s still making me smile hours later.

    As for products, I like Carole’s Daughter’s healthy hair butter and have recently gotten into Shea Moisture products (available at WalGreens & Target). Good luck and rock on!

  4. danieford says:

    Hi Tasha. Thanks for stopping by. I usually do two strand twists and do a twist out on the weekends.

    I’ve given up on their approval too. This weekend was my sorta “ah ha” moment. To use an Oprah quote. Yes the compliment from the stranger was amazing. And I had been getting looks all days. Maybe it was the confidence (finally being comfortable, happy and accepting my hair). Maybe it was the style.

    I have used the Shea Moisture products and I love the Purification Hair Masque and the Curl Enhancing Smoothie is good for twists too. I don’t use Carol’s Daughter often because it can be expensive. I am on a very strict budget and am trying not to be a product junkie. But that’s another post.

  5. Kim Berly (@KimberlyFarris) says:

    I’ve been natural since 2004. I wanted to go natural as early as 2001, but didn’t because I knew my family would flip out and I didn’t want to deal with it. They weren’t happy in 2004, but I was and the was most important thing. My family has gotten use to my hair.

    The funniest thing about going natural is discovering my natural hair color is not dark brown with goldish highlights, but flat black. I had no idea the chemicals from the perm were altering my hair color.

    I’ve yet to find my ‘holy grail’ products or completely figure out my hair. I try to my routine simple and economically friendly.

    Thanks for sharing part of your journey.

  6. danieford says:

    Hi Kim,

    I’m still looking for the holy grail products for my hair too. I have had luck with the Shea Moisture line.

    I didn’t get the altering of color from the chemicals. My hair has always been black nearly jet black. I usually do twists or do pony tails or micro buns during the week because of work. My hair has to be back, off my face and contained so it makes it harder.

    I have been working to embrace my natural kinky/curly fro for when I’m not at work. I will say that my coconut, jojoba, olive and grapeseed oil mix has really helped with the dryness.

    My hair has opened up discussion with some family members. Especially how going natural isn’t necessarily easy or simpler than relaxed/chemically treated hair. Some family members have accepted it but I have just had to learn and say it’s my hair and I’m happy with it. That’s the most important thing.

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